A Trauma Bond often occurs in romantic relationships where there is an imbalance of power. The important part is to identify the difference between love and a trauma bond.
In many instances, the person you’re with will create this sense of dependence on them after you’ve formed a solid relationship with them. Which will in turn make it difficult for you to turn your back on the relationship.
How do these relationships come to be?
While abusive relationships can take place in both romantic relationships and between family members, a trauma bond is more prevalent in romantic relationships.
Now, in many cases, people will not be able to identify the fact that they are in an abusive relationship. Until they’re very deep into the relationship already.
In the early stages of your relationship, your partner might shower you with love and treat you with respect and kindness – something now described as love bombing but once things start to get more serious and they’ve won you over, things start taking a turn when they start producing red flags.
Identifying the difference between love and a trauma bond
For some, the abuse does not take the form of physical violence but takes the form of threats of physical violence. The individual may pick up objects and throw them to intimidate or belittle you. Whatever manner they choose to use to control you is considered abuse.
At this point, the person will treat you poorly and in the next moment will shower you with gifts and affection. Now, when we receive affection in terms of physical touch and gifts, there are two main hormones that are released. These hormones are feel-good hormones.
The two main hormones that are responsible for our positive feelings are Dopamine and Oxytocin. When your partner treats you poorly and rewards you with gifts, these hormones play a big role in the hopes that the person you once knew will possibly come back.
However, trauma bonds are often a cycle that is constant and the above reasons are the reason why people often stay in abusive relationships. It is also important to realize that love is kind and patient and that a trauma bond is not love. Although many may feel this emotion for their perpetrator. Which is only the result of your dependence and positive memories with them.
One way to help move away from this relationship is to get professional help. Many who don’t consult a professional generally tend to go back. This comes as the bond is something that takes years to break and get over and taking active steps to get out of an unhealthy relationship is one big step into healing and recovery.
Source: Healthline